Thursday, May 22, 2008
Business Class post week 2: I work with all Woman
All my life I have been surrounded by just woman. Basically every boss I've had has been a woman and all I do is work with woman. I was raised by my Grandma and mother. I had no dad and my Uncle was the only guy influence in my life. As a result growing up I have developed a femine side to me. Some of my favorite movies are Untamed Heart, The Notebook, and even P.S. I love you. I am very much in tune with my guy side from sports, to movies, to everything that our society has said this is what makes a man. I have been made fun of because I even watch Sex and the City which I am actually looking forward to seeing the movie by the way. I have never felt like I was confused about my sexuality or gender. The question I have is why can't a man be in touch with his femine side? Woman get all mad when a guy doesn't act romantic or show any interest in chick flicks. I mean come to my house and you will see my dvd list of chick flicks. In both of my jobs I am surrounded by woman and not that I mind. I always love hearing menstrual stories and woman complaining they can not find the right guy and instead go for the right now guy. I guess where I am getting at is this: Why do guys have a problem with another guy being in touch with his feminie side? Do woman really want a guy who is just a straight up guy who doesn't care to know that your shoes match your dress or a guy who wants to do a dinner and a movie? Since the class is about gender and communicating, perhaps someone can communicate with me that it is ok to be a rough guy with a soft heart.
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8 comments:
Jason,
Well put. I think a women appreciates a man that can watch a chick flick with her especially if your really enjoying it. I also think its a drag to to the male bonding think 24/7. That gets old quick. A women appreciates a guy that understands them and knows how to be sweet to her and shares in her daily triumphs, failures, happiness and sadness. I think its great when my wife and I get together with other couples or when her friends come to visit. Life would be terribly boring and disappointing without the joy and beauty that a women brings into it.
Jason,
I am disappointed that none of the woman responded to your post! So, from a woman's perspective, I think it an evolution that woman go through...men too. Eventually, man or woman, we want to share with another person.
I think that its definitely OK for a man to be in touch with his feminine side.
As a woman, I've never had a problem with men that can put in their honest input about my dress matching my shoes.
I'm not sure why some men or women might have a problem with this. Perhaps they aren't as comfortable in their own skin as you are?
Jason,
From a woman's perspective, I think it is perfectly okay to be the way you are right now. It's very hard to find a man who will watch a chick flick (not even my previous boyfriends wanted to). True, it would be a little awkward having a guy next to me watching "The Notebook" but I think I would enjoy it because that has never happened to me before. Guys have a hard time matching clothes anyway, and if they do, then I would say they are getting in touch with their feminine side. Definitely NOT a bad thing. I really don't know why it's not okay; probably because it was written somewhere in history that men are supposed to be rough with rough hearts. But you were raised without any masculine influence, so being romantic and understanding definitely comes as a naturally to you while you still enjoy your sports.
No problem there whatsoever! :)
Sorry I didn't see your post before or I would have answered sooner. So reading that made me smile because it is pretty awesome that you wrote about that and are proud of who you are. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a "tough guy with a soft heart". I honestly believe that it makes you even more of a man to be able to show that you are in touch with your feminine side as well as your rough guy side. You are comfortable with who you are and have enough confidence to know that it does not matter if you enjoy chick flicks and watching Sex in the City. I think thats a very attractive quality in a guy..because in the end a girl is going to have more fun in your company because you are not afraid to be in touch with things she probably likes, and you care about more than just sports. Many guys want their girlfriends to watch sports with them which is totally fine, but then say the girl wants to watch a chick flick, then the guy should in turn watch the damn movie without bitching about it the entire way through. That is what happens in many cases and it really isn't too fair. More guys should learn a lesson from you..that you can still be a manly man and be in touch with your feminine side without worrying about what others will think of you, especially other guys. Stay true to who you are..I am sure that you will make a lucky lady very happy.
It is a great post… While I was reading your comments, I remember, I had a friend that was surrounded by women while he was growing up and he was very feminine in his behavior so a lot of people thought he was gay but he wasn’t. He could tell me what was a great outfit and he was always impeccably dress. My daughter dress my five year old as a girl and put make up and pony tales a while back. At first I was surprised and so did my husband but we did not made a big deal or made him feel that it was bad to feel like a girl sometimes. Children should experiment with both sides.
It is totally ok with being softhearted men especially in this society when so many women want to be the opposite. In my opinion seeing men crying watching a sensitive film makes him very attractive to women. It is hard for men to admit that they are soft hearted because it is interpreted as weak sign but when one does and admits to it. He becomes the men women dream of.
Jason, classmate and fellow 2005 alumni...I am sorry I missed this. You have made a statement and point that many women would be ashamed to respond to (which is not the reason I have only responded at this particular time). Many women, and it is sad to say present company included, are not conscientiously aware that they made a best friend out of this kind of guy instead of making him a mate. When they do realize it, it becomes awkward. I am guilty of that myself.
Other times, a woman might say something to the tune of...OMG he is too sweet or he is such a nice guy blah, blah, blah never thinking he is the right guy...for themselves... as though they are undeserving of the nice or too sweet guy. That, I too am guilty of. I can be rough territory! My independence and matter of fact state of mind...as well as mouth...places distance between me and love interests even the nice guy. So, the nice guy is reserved for the best friend position because so many relationships can be superficial and quick ending. Women don't want to place unnecessary risk on losing the nice guys genuine friendship.
Some women feel they need a more assertive, take charge kind of guy, not knowing they often end up with a nitwit. That nitwit equals to men who feel a particular woman is too aggressive misconstrue and are intimidated by her intuitiveness or assertive goandgetitness and find it unattractive. This by the way is the nitwit I'm talking about in this same paragraph or did I mention that. When you get right down to it ...the men who think like that are shallow, insecure and often lack self esteem and women who date this kind of man lack the same thing in a reverse kind of way. They dummy up or down as they say so they will be liked which has got to be quite boring.
As for you, stay exactly the way that you are. You are a diamond in the rough and that is very much the bomb!
Thanks class. You rallied here with the comments!!
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