And so comes another year where we celebrate the Father's who have stood by their families, full filled the role of a man, and showed us that men can be nurturing as well as strong. Father's Day is coming and just like Mother's Day, we celebrate those who have surpassed their gender role and taken on more than just being a Mother or Father. They have become friends to their children, best friends with their spouses, and even flip flopped their roles from man to woman. My question is can we celebrate Mother's Day if we are Men, and Father's Day if we are Women? There are many single parents out their who play both roles. Even our aunts, uncles, and grandparents take on these roles. It doesn' stop there because we have that extend relative or family friend who takes care of us like our mom's and dad's. Prof M talked about this in our first week about Mother's day in regards to the woman who takes care of her daughter. So many people have different roles and I am sure have been a big part of our lives growing up. They may not have had the title of mother or father but they gave us the values, love, and encouragement like they were our parents.
I grew up with no father and at times I felt like I barely had a mother. I had my aunt and grandmother as my support system. They taught me the morals and values needed to grow up. Even though growing up was rocky and even now as a 25 year old I know I have much to learn. On sunday as we celebrate having Father's what defines a father? Is it being a provider for your family? Is it being that friend, companion, and role model? Can someone be a father without being biologically linked to the child? What defines a father or "being a Man". Is it not leaving your family? How about showing compassion or being nurturing?
Father is defined as a male parent. A man who exercises paternal care over other persons; paternal protector or provider. ( Provided from Dictionary.com)
The father is defined as the male parent of an offspring. The father-child relationship is the defining factor of the fatherhood role.[4][5] "Fathers who are able to develop into responsible parents are able to engender a number of significant benefits for themselves, their communities, and most importantly, their children." This information provided by Wikipedia.com
So how do we define father or being a man?
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4 comments:
It's so true that the one you wish happy Father's Day does not have to be your biological father. My brother was not raised by a man because my parents divorced by the time he was 4 years old (I am six years older than him). He does not remember anything about my father back then. However, He got into the trend of sending my mother a father's day card every year because she was always there for him and the only one he knew as a parent figure.
I don't believe that a man has to be your biological father for you to celebrate him on Father's Day. Growing up I did not know that my best friend's stepfather was not her biological father. He treated her like all the other fathers treated their daughters. He was loving, caring nurturing, protective,etc. It wasn't until her wedding day that I found out that he was her stepfather.
I believe that you can celebrate any man or woman on Father's Day of Mother's Day that have provided you with the love and care you need. It could be an aunt, uncle coach, grandparent and so on. It's all about the heart.
Reply to Jason's Week #5 Comment
Jason,
I don't think being a father necessarily means that one is a dad. The points that you bring up are right though. In this day in age the roles of parents are intertwined that it is not just a mother and then a father, but sometimes kids only have one or the other or you have both but only one is an active participant. And then as you brought up, the parent may be extended family members. I myself feel I was raised more my uncle than my dad, so on father's day I honor both because my dad was there in my life to raise me, but by uncle gave me a lot more to me in terms of supporting me, cherishing me and being there for me. My father knows and understands that relationship and respects that I do honor my uncle as well as him.
My 5yr old son made a father's day present at school this week and was talking to my mother about it. My mother said that my father will enjoy the present, but my son replied that it was for his dad and his mother. When my mother corrected him and said it was father's day, my son said no it goes to both his parents on fathers day. There are some things where my husband and I intertwine as parents and I fully understood and knew it was recognized by my son's comment. And in case you are wondering, on mother's day he only celebrated that for me. Why he thought this I still do not know.
I think we have separated these two rememberances in accordance to gender. But, how many women are the single parents taking on the role of provider and caretaker. Mayber, we need to get rid of these gendered occassions and instead have a caregiver/parent day. I mean we don't separate grandparents day in Septemember.
Jason, you don't have to necessarily have a father or a strong father figure to be one. I think sometimes, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and makes a more sensitive to the needs of others as in your case.
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