Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Week 6: How are the kids?
In the 6 weeks that have passed in this class we have touched on many topics from Wood, Prof M, or shared in our own experiences. Whether it is our gender roles, sex, preference, etc. the one thing I have always wanted to know is, What happens to the children. We get so into ourselves or the way society may view us that we forget about our kids. When it comes to who should work and stay at home, many parents both work leaving the child to be raised by 50 cent and Paris Hilton. We are too occupied on filling our roles as male and female and not as fathers and mothers. Have we become that selfish of our own needs and wants that we forget about our little ones? Are we so worried about being generalized into our roles that we forget that one role that we get when that child is born? From back in week 1 discussing about the pregnant man, to our roles in the workplace, at home, etc, and even now with transgenered and is it ok to go from man to woman? Do we ever think about anyone else, perhaps not our children if we do not have one but our families and friends? I am asking alot of questions because I sometimes think that we have become too selfish in ourselves and jsut ignore everything else that goes on around us.
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7 comments:
Jason,
You are exactly right. People today lead such busy lives that they seem to get consumed in their own world. Everything and everyone else around them tend to be on the outside of this world and it is usually their children, family, or friends that are affected the most. It seems like they are taken for granted and put at the bottom of the individual's "to do" list. Spending time with children, family, and friends should not be taken for granted. As the saying goes, "we hurt the ones we love the most". Everyone needs to slow down and readjust their priorities, putting their children at the top of their list. Using your example, Jason---would you want your child raised by 50 cent or Paris Hilton?
No i would not want my kids being raised by 50cent or paris hilton. I know with my schedule the way it is between class and working two jobs i would never have time if i had a child. i barely have time for myself let alone a child. It would not be fair to my kid and as an end result watches 50 cent or paris and starts talking to me in slang or if i had a daughter, i dont want to even think of what she would do.
Jason,
Well said! My wife and I do not have children but if we did I would find it so difficult to leave them or to put them on a school bus with strangers and a driver I don't know. I would probably take turns with my wife staying home with my child during the early formative years. Even after that I would still worry about them. Its funny and ironic that I feel this way now. Especially when I think back of the hell I put my parents through. I was so selfish and only concerned about myself when all they were trying to do was protect me. How much protection can we give our kids? We want to be there for them and lend them the benefit of our experience, but inevitably, the direction they take and choices they make are there's. What do you think?
Glen, I think that its human nature to want to protect our kids but we have to let them be on there own to make mistakes and go through hard times because it will make them better. I was overally protected growing up to the point where when i finally made mistakes i had no idea how to fix them. As along as our kids know that regardless or success or failure, as a parent we will always be there for them.
Hi Jason,
Rasing children is serious. You are so right on. We do lead very busy lives, with work and other commitments outside of our family life. We even over extend our children with too many extra curicular activites. I believe that sometimes people get caught up in "doing" thinking that it is bettering their family, but all the "doing" actually takes them away from their family. I think most times if you ask children what they want most, they will say to spend time with their parents or parent or family. Have you seen the movie Even Almighty?
Jason, I think you are making some huge generalizations in this post. Most of the parents I know are very involved in their children's lives. I am very involved in my children's lives. "Many parents both work leaving the child to be raised by 50 cent and Paris Hilton." Are you trying to imply that if both parents work they are uninvolved in raising their children or have made a selfish choice? My wife and I both work. Before we had children we discussed our goals, that our children would have more opportunities than we did. We moved to get into a better school district before we had kids. We opened 529s for the kids (we both paid our own way through school and know what a struggle that was). If you have young children you know that they have to have some type of socialization before they get to kindergarten. My sister is a stay at home mom and her sons go to daycare 2 days a week so they can be socialized. I think you have made a very bad assumption that parents don't think their roles as mothers and fathers are the most important aspects of their lives. If you are not willing to make it the most important role than you should not have children in the first place. There were conversations last week about people having children later in life. This is why they do. When you are ready to commit yourself to raising children that is when you have them. I agree some parents are uninvolved, but you have taken your view of the minority and extended it to the majority with the generalizations you have made here.
I know that we have dicussed the formation of gender messages in a number of different areas like the workplace and education and the media, but, the gender messages that are the first learned are in our family. I think that everything is okay within reason and when balanced. For instance, I think that my working is a good role model for my daughter,along with my acting as her caretaker. I have balanced my schedule to be home with her enough, yet, am working which helps pay the bills, and fulfills my professional needs and sets an example for her that women can pursue other interests outside the home. I am always conscious of how much time that I am at work for this exact reason that she must always be my priority. I have tried to show you in this course that we must search for our own truth past the stereotypes. The defintion of a good mother doesn't be that she stays home all day long. Should she put her child first on her list, yes, in my eyes. But, can she work, yes in my eyes too. We need to create our own definitions for ourselves and finding a balance between what works for each family should be the priority.
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